Cosmopolitan Column on Feeling Jealous
Hi Athena! My best friend is moving on with her life and I feel left behind. I’m starting to feel sorry for myself. It seems like only good things happen to her… Why am I being left behind? What can I do to keep up? Thanks, Megan.
Jealousy and feeling left out is the worst.
These feelings are usually fueled by a harsh inner critic.
You know that mean inner voice that tells you that you aren’t good enough, pretty enough, lovable enough.
But don’t despair – you’re not alone. (In fact – this post has been read by over 3000 people since the time of me writing it- which just goes to show that so many people feel this way!)
It’s okay to feel left behind.
The main thing is to acknowledge how you feel and be kind to yourself anyway.
You can watch my interview with Oprah’s Super Soul 100 member, Danielle LaPorte on why self-compassion is the best self-help.
A helpful exercise (to shift what you are feeling) is to come to the present moment and experience gratitude for all the current good in your life.
Write a list of what is working, then become aware of what you think is missing from your life (which is perhaps reflected in your best-friend’s life?).
Is she in a loving relationship?
Does she excel in her career?
Has she reached some of her financial goals?
You can have all those things but you need to stop feeling sorry for yourself and move on to your own dreams and passions.
If you need help figuring out what those are, a creative visualization exercise (see below) may be helpful.
Imagine your best life.
What does it look like to you?
How does it make you feel?
Are you in alignment with your purpose?
Self-reflection is key here.
Sometimes we sabotage the good things in our lives because we hold an inner belief that we are not worthy or deserving of the good that others have.
Don’t forget to kiss that green-eyed monster goodbye.
You are worth so much more than self-doubt and jealousy.
You deserve success.
My question is, can you believe that?
P.S. Got a question that needs an answer? Email me here.