Cosmopolitan Column on Feeling Jealous

How to deal with jealousy and feeling left behind by Athena Laz

Q:

Hi Athena! My best friend is moving on with her life and I feel left behind. I’m starting to feel sorry for myself. It seems like only good things happen to her… Why am I being left behind? What can I do to keep up? Thanks, Megan.


A: 

Dear Megan,

Jealousy and feeling left out is the worst.

These feelings are usually fueled by a harsh inner critic.

You know that mean inner voice that tells you that you aren’t good enough, pretty enough, lovable enough.

(You can get my free video course on how to deal with that here.)

But don’t despair – you’re not alone. (In fact – this post has been read by over 3000 people since the time of me writing it-  which just goes to show that so many people feel this way!)

It’s okay to feel left behind.

The main thing is to acknowledge how you feel and be kind to yourself anyway.

You can watch my interview with Oprah’s Super Soul 100 member, Danielle LaPorte on why self-compassion is the best self-help.

A helpful exercise (to shift what you are feeling) is to come to the present moment and experience gratitude for all the current good in your life.

Write a list of what is working, then become aware of what you think is missing from your life (which is perhaps reflected in your best-friend’s life?).

Is she in a loving relationship?

Does she excel in her career?

Has she reached some of her financial goals?

You can have all those things but you need to stop feeling sorry for yourself and move on to your own dreams and passions.

If you need help figuring out what those are, a creative visualization exercise (see below) may be helpful.

Imagine your best life.

What does it look like to you?

How does it make you feel?

Are you in alignment with your purpose?

Self-reflection is key here.

Sometimes we sabotage the good things in our lives because we hold an inner belief that we are not worthy or deserving of the good that others have.

Exploring what your internal beliefs are can help you move forward.

Don’t forget to kiss that green-eyed monster goodbye.

You are worth so much more than self-doubt and jealousy.

You deserve success.

My question is, can you believe that?

Athena Laz is the founder of athenalaz.com, where she uses her skill as a licensed psychologist, self-help author & columnist to help others find their inner power.

P.S. Got a question that needs an answer? Email me here.

Own Your Inner Power Signature Program by Athena Laz

10 Comments
  1. Jessica 3 months ago

    This is so great, thanks Athena!

  2. Maria 3 months ago

    I signed up for your course!! I cannot wait to my INNER POWER – wooooooohooooo!

  3. Ashley 3 months ago

    Maria, I’ve been through her course and it was amazing! Self-sabotage was really a big issue for me & at least now I have the ability to actually recognize why I’m making myself feel helpless & jealous. Not easy but live & learn I guess 🙂

  4. Beth 3 months ago

    Jealousy for me is fueled by social media – I hate to admit it but I can’t help see everyone living their “best lives” and I’m stuck working in an office 🙁

  5. Litha 3 months ago

    Also did her course ! Rocked the party – excited to be in the second round of it later this year.

  6. Jemma 3 months ago

    I feel so good seeing these comments & the fact 3000 other people feel jealous !! It’s not just me – thank G-d . Athena I LOVE your site & am so happy to have found you through pinterest . SO much of the self-help stuff is just bullshit, wishy washy stuff that actually doesn’t help. I like that you get law of attraction/ spiritual practices and are a therapist too! Amazing – that’s my goal – I also want to become qualified and help inspire other people 🙂

    And COSMO!! dream job

  7. Thandi 3 months ago

    Hey, from snowy NYC!

    Thanks, for this article . I’m trying to be more mindful and practice acceptance of what is and really just see what I think I’m lacking. I ;oved your post on instagram that said , that jealousy is just projection it really helped me. <3 Also interested in your course – where do I go?

  8. Author
    Athena Laz 3 months ago

    Hey Jemma! You are definitely not alone – we’ve all felt it. And I think the minute you can own what you feel you stop being controlled by it!And thank’s for your kind words too.

  9. Author
    Athena Laz 3 months ago

    hey Thandi – so glad that it helped 🙂 You can get to the course here https://athenalaz.teachable.com/p/own-your-inner-power x

  10. Author
    Athena Laz 3 months ago

    Excited to have you in the course Maria!

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