Trusting the process of change
I was thinking about all the times in my life when change led to less than ideal outcomes which were very painful at the time.
This isn’t to say that I can’t see the beauty of it all now, how these detours were actually blessings in disguise. But at the time they were painful.
There is no positive way to spin it and I don’t feel like it requires spinning.
The truth of it is that sometimes change can wreak havoc in your life and in those moments of destruction, when everything is falling down, it can feel crushingly painful.
Every time that you are crushed by something it feels a little riskier to be brave and open the following time.
This is survival instinct at its best, priming you to find safety against pain and the unknown.
But here’s the thing; if you want your life to be different (better) you have to become okay with change.
You have to trust that the pain, the change and that the unknown is clearing the path for something better to come.
And if your dream result doesn’t materialize immediately it doesn’t mean that it never will. It means that you are required to be resilient and carry on, and carry on with an open heart no less.
If you are tired of dating partners who disrespect your time and your boundaries, you are required to change (raise) your standards.
This is an exercise in both self-worth and allowing the change to happen.
Maybe the next date won’t be that much better but this time you don’t settle.
You don’t pick up their call to distract you from the reality of where you are right now or from your loneliness.
You treat yourself better with no expectation of another person doing that for you.
Then down the line when you do meet someone who values and respects you, it feels so right because you are already used to treating yourself well.
You’re not second guessing their behavior or yours.
You know what being treated well feels like, and if you don’t at least you know what being treated badly feels like and you are ready to experience the exact opposite of that.
Getting comfortable with change is a continual learning process to which there is no magical formula that will help you by-pass the grit of it.
But I know this; that every time that you refine what you are willing to tolerate you expand and that in itself is liberating.
The gift of the grit is ability to unfold into someone you can’t even imagine yourself to be right now.
When you say, ‘no thanks’ this is not for me and ‘yes please’ more of this, you actively claim your inner power.
You expand into your inner power using change as the tool to get you there.
Steps on how to deal with change in life and relationships
♦ Reflect on any underlying fear(s) related to the process of change that you are currently in. I.e. ask yourself what is making you afraid of change.
♦ Flip the script on your fears with the help of this free video course.
♦ Seek external help to you to adjust to any of the changes that you are going through.
◊ You can also listen to this free audio designed to help you get unstuck that works on a 5 step strategy.
(In traditional therapy there is something known as an adjustment disorder- if you’ve been struggling to deal with the same process of change for longer than 6 months – I highly recommend booking a session with a licensed + qualified practitioner.)
♦ Write out how you feel (journalling has been proven to be an effective stress manager).
♦ Focus on the best-case scenario and take aligned action to get there.
◊ Self-care is so important when change is running riot in your life. You can watch my video conversation with Oprah Super Soul 100 member + wellness guru Latham Thomas here on helpful self-care tools.
P.S. Now let me know your thoughts in the comment section below, are you struggling with change and how do you handle it?