What to do when all you can focus on is the future

What to do when all you can do is focus on the future by Athena Laz

Q:

Hey Athena,

I am consumed at the moment. I feel like I can’t relax because I want to know how things are going to turn out in my life. I’m dating someone new (I want to *know* if he is the one) and I’m in the process of launching a business (and I want to know that it will work out and be a huge success). What can I do to feel calmer?

Thanks, Loretta.

____________________________________________________________

A:

Dear Loretta,

It sounds this time of transition is making you feel very stressed. Part of feeling calmer right now, may simply be in recognizing that perceived control and anxiety is unnecessary. Now I know that sounds simple, but sometimes it’s easier to think that if you stress that things will work out because you’ve ‘suffered enough’. Or that if you worry excessively that you will feel more prepared if things don’t work out in the way you want them to. Recognize that feeling consumed is fuelled by how you are thinking & you can change this by simply flipping any unhelpful thoughts.

Angst can also act like a blanket emotion that distracts you from looking at any underlying fear that you may be experiencing. What’s the fear if your business tanks or if he isn’t the one? Will it mean that you are a failure or that you are too old and will never find another partner? When you learn to witness your fears, to name them for what they are, the hold they have on you lessens. So take a deep breath and just think about what’s really going on for you? You’ve handled everything in your life up to this point; trust that you will be safe (in either outcome) during this time of transition and change.

5 Steps to Feeling Calmer

 

  1. Get back into your body. Go for a walk, run, swim or dance – just do anything physical that will get you out of your mind and back into the present moment.

  2. Access more support (sometimes just talking it out can help minimize your sense of overwhelm).

  3. Read this.

  4. Practice meditating.

  5. You have the inner power to let this process be easy, choose to own that.

 

Take care,

Athena Laz is the founder of athenalaz.com, where she uses her skill as a licensed psychologist, self-help author & columnist to help others find their inner power.

 

 

Own Your Inner Power Signature Program by Athena Laz

13 Comments
  1. Kathryn 8 months ago

    Athena can you pls share or do a video on how to meditate? I know that may sound stupid to some ppl but it’s something I know I shd do but just don’t. Thanks ♡

  2. Thobile 8 months ago

    love love love – you have the inner power to let it be easy – OWN that. I’m ready to just live what I want.

  3. Author
    Athena Laz 8 months ago

    Yes! love that declaration of intent.

  4. Author
    Athena Laz 8 months ago

    That does not sound stupid at all ! Will do – make sure you’re signed up to the newsletter so that you get the notification for it. 🙂

  5. Ashley 8 months ago

    Fear can be such a motivator or crippler! Thanks for sharing XX

  6. Candice Shirley 8 months ago

    I had a dream were I faced my fear – it looked like a burnt version of me…. totally freaked me out! Athena do you do dream work and fear work?

  7. Loretta 8 months ago

    Athena thank-you for answering my question! I’m going to join your program!! SO excited 🙂

  8. Cat 8 months ago

    I love your work Athena – please make a video Q&A !! Love watching your interviews – think the Q&A’s could be amazing via video. Also love that you write for Cosmo! How did you get into that?

  9. Lauren 8 months ago

    Athena does own your inner power only run once a year?

  10. gabby 8 months ago

    Yes! love this – get out of your mind back into your body. Thanks, Athena!! Will you share your morning routine with us?

  11. Justine L 8 months ago

    I love this , ‘ . It was a thunderous sign so obvious in nature that I was forced to face what I had been avoiding.’

    I’m in a relationship that I think I shd leave but I’m just not a hundred percent sure ! Athena pla make a course on intuition.

    Pretty much I’ve been with this guy for 5 years but he always changes the subject when I start to talk about marriage… what shd i do?

    I don’t feel tapped into my intuition at all. Even logically I’m just not sure.

  12. Nthobile 8 months ago

    Also in a bad relationship- just not brave enough to leave. I’m 33 what if i dont meet anyone else?

  13. Tanya 8 months ago

    Athena I love your interview with Terri Cole on this topic. Nothing worse than being in a relationship that you actuallu want to leave! You can do it ladies. You deserve love and happiness. This isn’t your trial life. Don’t let fear hold you back Xxx

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