Self- Care is More Than a Lush Bath Bomb

Self-care is a process and a practice by Athena Laz

Q:

Hi Athena,

I loved your post on #SelfCareSunday on Instagram. I really struggle with taking care of myself and I want to change this. Please help!

Thanks,

Letitia

P.S. do you do one on one sessions?


A:

Dear Letitia,

The moment people start to treat themselves better internally they automatically make healthier choices that lean into self-care. Some of the most common barriers to self-care are negative self-talk, feelings of unworthiness/guilt and a lack of healthy boundaries. You have the ability to choose how you think, feel and act in every moment and that does not cost you a thing.

 

So I want you to start off by thinking about what would need to change in your life if you made your self-care a priority? What’s your self-talk or inner dialogue like and could it be better? (If it could do with a boost, watch this).  Self-care is really a process and a practice that requires you to be in tune with your own needs and then to act on them.  In essence, it requires commitment and practice. The more you do it the better you feel, the better you feel the more you do it.

 

5 Steps to rocking practical self-care

 

  • You can deepen your self-care practice by recognizing your mental health needs. You can book a  session here.

  • Learn about your emotional needs and respect them (one on one therapy is incredible useful for this).

  • Listen to your body and nourishing its physical needs (i.e. a run in the park, healthier food choices or free exercise series off Youtube).

  • Look at the quality of your relationships (friends/family/partners) and determine whether they add to your life or if you need better boundaries. Watch this interview to learn more about developing healthy, loving and respectful relationships.

  • Become mindful of how much time you spend on social media and if need be do a digital detox.

 

Just remember, no-one has everything in order all the time so this isn’t about being perfect. It’s simply about being honest with yourself and seeing where you could be kinder to YOU.

Take care,

Athena Laz is the founder of athenalaz.com, where she uses her skill as a licensed psychologist, self-help author & columnist to help others find their inner power.

 

 

 

 

P.S. Got a question for me? E-mail me here.

P.P.S. What is your self-care practice like? Let me know in the comments below?

 

Own Your Inner Power Signature Program by Athena Laz

21 Comments
  1. Thandi 4 months ago

    Love this post Athena. For one, I’m big on self-care Sunday – love the reset it gives me BUT I also agree that it’s so much more than just that. I’m working on moment to moment self-care – choosing a kinder thought when I’m critical… Pretty much less judgement.

  2. Candy 4 months ago

    Hey Athena,

    I love how your community is growing – I started following you way back when you did your interview with Danielle LaPorte 🙂

    Personally, I love what you’ve written. I’m 34 now and only really beginning to understand what my needs are. I grew up with a very inattentive mother so I learnt to just squash my needs to please her. Obviously this hasn’t been great for me. I’ve learnt harsh lessons in self-care with drug addicted partners and toxic friends. BUT now that I practice self-love first and foremost my relationships have changed. Better people are around me and I try to respect my needs and theirs.

    Thanks for your work, you’ve been a light in my life.

  3. Beth 4 months ago

    Candy, I can very much relate to your story. My mom is borderline so my childhood was chaotic. For me every day is a battle in feeling like I just have a right to exist. My inner self-talk is still so harsh.

    Thanks for the read Athena 🙂

  4. Author
    Athena Laz 4 months ago

    Yes to less self-judgement and more self-compassion Thandi! I think it’s exactly what you said, it’s not one or the other – self-care can be all of it and when we become discerning we know what to use at the right time 🙂 Thanks for sharing.

  5. Author
    Athena Laz 4 months ago

    Hi Candy, so glad you found your way to this community & happy to hear that you are taking care of you first and foremost. xx

  6. Author
    Athena Laz 4 months ago

    My pleasure Beth. The destroyer aspect of Self is not an easy thing to work with and like you said your inner self-talk is the place to start. You have a right to BE and you can control (& potentially integrate at some stage) that harsh voice. With much LOVE.

  7. Dee 4 months ago

    Hey Athena,

    I just read your newsletter & LOVE the guide. For me self-care is really about the physical. I spent a long time hurting my body in subtle and not so subtle ways so this is really something that is important to me now. Eating is for nourishment. Exercise is about feeling good. Both of which used to be means to control what I looked like. I’ms till learning and have good and bad days but for the most part, the darkest part of that chapter is over for me now. For which, I am beyond grateful. Now, I’m working on other things like recognizing my emotional needs – can’t hide behind control anymore!

  8. Meaghan 4 months ago

    Hi everyone, my name is Meaghan. I’m busy running through the master your inner critic course – which is amazing Athena – thanks <3

    I don't really have a routined self-care practice – more of a question – what can I do to recognize my needs? I've been dating this guy and I feel like he should know what I need without having to say. Which is obvs driving him crazy , which makes me feel insecure.

    So how can I change this?

    thanks

  9. Jess 4 months ago

    Hi Athena, Jess all the way from Colorado. I’m running through your course too & found what you had to say on labeling really helpful. I’ve tried affirmations and they just leave me feeling like sh**t to be honest. Felt relieved when I heard you talk about it because so much info out there is on thinking positively. So I just wanted to say thanks! Can’t wait to watch the next video too.

    As for self-care I’m getting there. Mine is also about feeling better in my body. I’m tired of walking past a mirror and berating myself… I’m ready to get over this.

  10. Alexia 4 months ago

    Also just got your newsletter – will we be getting it on Sunday now? LOVE it.

    My self-care routine has really been upgraded. I did a major life detox a couple of months ago. Anything that just wasn’t good for me anymore I cleansed from my space.

    It was so painful at the time. Like BEYOND painful but now sitting on the other side of it, I’m happier for it. Sometimes, I still feel a bit lonely but my intent is for amazing new, loving supportive people to come into my life.

    I want to feel good and SUPPORTED. I deserve it actually. So self-care at the moment is just about not over thinking whether I did the right thing. I take time out to walk now and just feel more chilled generally.

  11. Asfiyah 4 months ago

    I don’t know if this is self-care but how do I deal with rejection from a partner? I feel like my heart is being ripped apart 🙁

  12. Mayim 4 months ago

    I love waking up in the morning and doing an writing how I want to feel for the rest of the day. It’s become a huge self-care practice for me. Can you do a video on your self-care routine Athena? Xx

  13. Nancy 4 months ago

    Hi ladies.

    My self-care process is a serious must. I’m a beautican by trade so I feel like I’ve gotta walk my talk.

    Everyday, I commit to a 30 min facial regime. It is a non negotiable in my life. For the most part it also just reminds me that I deserve 30 mins od my day. I give so much so I like to feel like I’m giving back to me.

    Thanks for sharing!

  14. Justine L 4 months ago

    My self-care routine involves feeling loved…. this may sound dumb but I volunteer at a shelter and I play with the puppies. Self-love puppy bomb. Lol

  15. Author
    Athena Laz 4 months ago

    LOVE it!

  16. Author
    Athena Laz 4 months ago

    great way of giving back 🙂

  17. Tanya 4 months ago

    Athena I love a lush bath bomb haha but i get what you mean.

  18. Sharon 4 months ago

    So after years and years of being co-dependent I have learnt what my own needs are. Athena pls do a post on this. There is so much unhelpful info on co-dependecy. I would love to have your professional view. Thanks for you work.

  19. Sharon 4 months ago

    And I just want to say I couldn’t agree more. Self-care isn’t just physical care. It’s about everything. I used to think that my partner’s (mostly) automatically knew what I needed. I also used to feel like I had to be needed in order to be loved. No more – I honor myself now and my partner because I respect him enough to tell him what I want and need & he does the same. This doesn’t mean we don’t fight we just communicate. Love to anyone going through this.

  20. Gala 4 months ago

    Self-care is a process and a practice- love that. 🖤

  21. Jamie 4 months ago

    Yes!

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