How to Heal Jealousy and Feeling Left Out

How to deal with jealousy and feeling left behind by Athena Laz


How to Heal Jealousy, Envy and Feeling Left Out

Do you wish you had someone else’s success, looks or relationships?  Do you often get envious of other people’s good?

We’ve all been there, in a moment of random social media scrolling or within a relationship where jealousy and envy take over…

Part of healing this by understanding that these emotions often stem from a form of inner inadequacy, anger, disconnection or sadness which is then mirrored by your external life.

The good news is that you are not alone.

In fact, this post is my highest read article. It shows me that this is something thousands of people are wanting to heal from.  You deserve to move past jealousy and move towards feeling good and attracting joy into your life, work & relationships.

Owning how you feel is a major part of becoming self-empowered and happy. Athena Laz's Tweet That

So stop feeling guilty or shameful for feeling jealous or envious because denying how you truly feels just hurts you in the long run!

That missing “thing’ in your life is actually a backhanded sign pointing your in the face of your desires.  Athena Laz's Tweet That

It’s a sign that you are ready to feel more than.Athena Laz's Tweet That

In actuality, jealousy and envy have nothing to do with that person/thing or experience that you are chasing and has everything to do with you!

It’s showing you that, you are ready to stop playing small.

That you are ready to embrace your light, (uniqueness, gifts, talents) and your darkness (the things you try to hide from yourself and others).

And isn’t that amazing, how something that feels so difficult can be such a gift?

Here are some basic steps to get you started: 

Step 1: Delete all of your social media apps off your phone for a week

Take back control and delete your social media apps off your phone for a minimum of one week. If you really need to log on and check what is happening, do so on your PC and set a timer for 5 minutes and then log off the minute the alarm goes off.  Most of the time we all fall into the trap of random social media scrolling because it’s just so accessible to do so. When you delete the apps off your phone, it becomes easier to limit mindless scrolling which leads to sadness and envy.  Take charge of your life and delete the trigger that is causing you undue stress. You can also take this one step further and unfollow anyone that triggers you feeling less than if you have to be on social media.


Step 2: Your envy is actually pointing you in the direction of your desires

It’s so easy to believe that envy is just this negative but in reality that missing thing in your life is actually a back-handed sign pointing you in the direction of your desires. That feeling of lack is actually helping you to gain clarity on what you actually want to experience in your life. The main issue is that most people get stuck in self-pity when they should be taking action. So what do you desire and can you do anything about getting it?  If your answer is ‘yes’, awesome – take steps to get there. If your answer is ‘no’ then work on accepting what you cannot change because that in itself has the power to make you feel lighter.


Step 3: Focus on what feels good

When you fall into a state of envy re-focus your attention onto what brings you joy.  It may seem hard at first (especially when you are sitting in your office feeling envious) but start to bring your awareness to what you are really grateful for.  Mentally list the things that are working for you.  Maybe that’s your health; your current job (even though it may not be your ideal job – it still pays the bills); your relationships or simply your ability to change anything that holds you back. Focus on what is working and then use that as a leaping board to go after what you actually want.


Step 4: Work on loving you

When you are in a state of envy and jealousy you have fallen into believing that you are less than.  You can alter this by working on the quality of your self-talk. Begin by noticing how you are actually thinking and talking about yourself.  Remember, radical self-acceptance means untangling yourself from external measures of worth and validation. The very things that social media is hinged on. When you cultivate a healthy inner dialogue you move away from placing too much attention on external criticism or praise. You can also listen to my audio course on how to move past envy and jealousy here.

If you could do with some more guidance and laser focused solutions on how to heal from jealousy, then check out my my audio-training below:

PIN IT : Heal Jealousy and Feeling Left Out by Athena LazCLICK-HERE-GIF for only

All my love,

Athena Laz is the founder of, where she uses her skill as a licensed psychologist, self-help author & columnist to help others find their inner power.





Now I would love to hear from you! How do you deal with your jealousy?  Leave a comment in the section below and remember to join our heartfelt community here (you’ll also get an awesome PDF on how to feel great right now!).

  1. Jessica 3 years ago

    This is so great, thanks Athena!

  2. Maria 3 years ago

    I signed up for your course!! I cannot wait to my INNER POWER – wooooooohooooo!

  3. Ashley 3 years ago

    Maria, I’ve been through her course and it was amazing! Self-sabotage was really a big issue for me & at least now I have the ability to actually recognize why I’m making myself feel helpless & jealous. Not easy but live & learn I guess 🙂

  4. Beth 3 years ago

    Jealousy for me is fueled by social media – I hate to admit it but I can’t help see everyone living their “best lives” and I’m stuck working in an office 🙁

  5. Loren 3 years ago

    Also did her course ! Rocked the party – excited to be in the second round of it later this year.

  6. Jemma 3 years ago

    I feel so good seeing these comments & the fact 3000 other people feel jealous !! It’s not just me – thank G-d . Athena I LOVE your site & am so happy to have found you through pinterest . SO much of the self-help stuff is just bullshit, wishy washy stuff that actually doesn’t help. I like that you get law of attraction/ spiritual practices and are a therapist too! Amazing – that’s my goal – I also want to become qualified and help inspire other people 🙂

    And COSMO!! dream job

  7. Thandi 3 years ago

    Hey, from snowy NYC!

    Thanks, for this article . I’m trying to be more mindful and practice acceptance of what is and really just see what I think I’m lacking. I ;oved your post on instagram that said , that jealousy is just projection it really helped me. <3 Also interested in your course – where do I go?

  8. Author
    Athena Laz 3 years ago

    Hey Jemma! You are definitely not alone – we’ve all felt it. And I think the minute you can own what you feel you stop being controlled by it!And thank’s for your kind words too.

  9. Author
    Athena Laz 3 years ago

    hey Thandi – so glad that it helped 🙂 You can get to the course here x

  10. Author
    Athena Laz 3 years ago

    Excited to have you in the course Maria!

  11. Kathryn 2 years ago

    Thank – You Athena! I really didn’t want to be honest with myself about this but I often feel jealous… I want what other people are having and social media seriously does not help. Going to sign up for your course ! 👌🌻👐🙏🏽

  12. Alyssa 2 years ago

    I feel bad about my body and always end up getting jealous of other attractive women and how easy it must be to float through life with good looks …. 😓

  13. Author
    Athena Laz 2 years ago

    Hey Alyssa & welcome to our community! It can feel so frustrating to think that other people have it much easier than you do (and maybe they do!) but that shouldn’t stop you from choosing to like who you are. All that energy and thought that goes towards what you think you lack can be healed. You can feel good about your own body (no matter what size or shape) and move towards a more self-compassionate relationship with yourself! Check out my course, I think it could aid you in feeling more confident.

  14. Author
    Athena Laz 2 years ago

    Hey Kathryn! Social media is a fake highlight reel of everyone’s life… don’t get caught up in the bullshit. I’ve found that setting intentions first thing in the morning is one of the most effective ways in staying conscious through out the day. Looking forward to seeing you in the course.

  15. Brianna 2 years ago

    I am really liking your perspective on how jealousy is a backhanded gift… sure feels that way in the moment. Looking forward to signing up for your course when I get paid! <3

  16. Carrie 2 years ago

    I really fall into thinking that if someone else has , that there isn’t enough for me then:( And it’s so horrible…. Really want to believe I can attract what I want but just don’t really fully feel it.

  17. Anna 1 year ago

    Hi Athena, I really loved your article. I don’t spend a lot of time on social media but my husband does. About all his time. Typing, laughing. It makes me feel so left out, even though I know he’s not doing anything wrong. I’m reading about feeling left out to try to heal this trigger. I’ve been feeling left out all of my life, and I’m 50 now. I really have to get a handle on this or it will ruin my relationship.

  18. Author
    Athena Laz 1 year ago

    Hi Anna, I hope that you are well.
    I believe that the fact that you are here and have awareness of the feeling state that it results in means that you are already half way through breaking this pattern. Really when something external triggers feelings of abandonment and rejection the immediate need is to first self-regulate and self-soothe. AND then to also communicate about how you are feeling to your husband – perhaps there’s a way you can be incorporated into the fun? Or to have more focused one on one time where you really feel loved and appreciated?

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