How to heal inner patriarchal beliefs
(This Q&A was originally featured in the #AskAthena Self-Help Column in Cosmopolitan Magazine)
Q:
I am 27, a gender equality activist and have never been in a committed serious relationship (on purpose). I wanted to spend my twenty’s single committed to self-love, that was always the plan and what I’ve done. However, I feel that I have done the single thing for long enough now and am at a great place to build a long lasting relationship. On all previous “casual” encounters, when I either asked the guy out or vice-versa, I had trouble with letting the guy pay for the meal, drinks etc. I fear owing any man anything because of male misogyny and patriarchal privileges. Truth be told this happens to make family members as well, I just find it so difficult to accept acts of love that can be quantified in money. My question is how do I openly and comfortably accept these acts of love without any struggle? Please note: I don’t think the men I am surrounded by will ever pull any stunts, and even though I know this, I’m just not comfortable in them picking up any bill with the exception of male friends. – Thanks, P.