How to turn things around when you hit difficulties


Hi Athena,

I’m having a really hard time at the moment. I’ve been working hard at my career, my relationship and life but just feel like when I’m about to turn a corner, everything comes crashing down. I’ve hit rock bottom and feel like there’s no way forward. What do I do? – Boitumelo


Dear Boitumelo,

First and foremost, be kind to yourself. It’s so disappointing not getting what you want and, as a result, feeling lost is completely natural. As this is a time of change and transition for you, no amount of force or pushing will get you to where you want to be – at least for now. (Sometimes we repeat what we don’t repair because we carry self-sabotaging beliefs which influence how we feel about being rewarded. You can read more about that here.)

So how about trying to release your expectations and goals and go with the flow? Letting go of control and allowing your life to flow may just be what’s called for. This isn’t to say that you shouldn’t have goals and desires, but that your attachment to reaching these externalized goals needs to be re-evaluated, at least for the moment. You can watch this interview for more guidance on how to goal set without burning yourself out. Also, try these easy steps:

7 Steps To Dealing With Rock-Bottom


  1. Honor how you feel and recognize that hitting rock bottom is actually progress in disguise (even though it does not feel like it). You’re on a journey, and this is part of it – however hard it may feel.

  2. Become aware of the thoughts and beliefs that are influencing you on an everyday basis. Do you feel like you are worthy of good in your life? If you reached all your goals, what old belief systems and patterns would need to be released?

  3. Self-judgement and self-criticism are not helpful, so be kind to yourself.

  4. Your self-worth is not linked to your work, relationships or goals. You are worthy of feeling good wherever and whoever you are in life.

  5. Self-love is an inside job. Improve how you talk to yourself with these doable tips.

  6. Go outside, have some fun and re-visit what’s not working for you when you have had some distance from your thoughts.

  7. What if something better came your way because of this? Trust that what is meant for you will not pass you by.


Athena Laz is the founder of, where she uses her skill as a licensed psychologist, self-help author & columnist to help others find their inner power.







P.S. What gets you through hard times?

P.P.S. If you have a self-help question that needs answering – email me here.


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